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Bad Chemistry Jokes & Stories
Along with a couple of charged jokes, find the top 10 ways to get thrown out of a chemistry lab, proposed new elements for the periodic table and the famous answer to the question of whether hell is exothermic or endothermic.

ChemCenter Joke-a-Rama Submissions
The American Chemical Society presents the best jokes submitted in its first Joke-a-Rama contest. Here's your chance to discover the number of atoms in guacamole and why hamburger has lower energy than steak.

Chemist's Night Before Christmas, A
This takeoff on the Christmas classic substitutes reactions, ringstands and medicinals for the more familiar holiday trappings, and transforms Santa into a flask-sniffing mad scientist.

Chemist's Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies
Metric measurements, chemical names for ingredients and technical descriptions of the equipment put this recipe beyond the reach of the average baker, but it's good for a few hoots in the chem lab.

Chemistry Jokes
Chuckle over the practical joke possibilities of Professor Eppendorf's novelties -- snake in a reagent, glow-in-the-dark pipette tips, x-ray specs -- and then move along to the other jokes, poetry, quotes and puns in this mammoth collection.

Chemistry Mnemonics
Most of these submissions are tricks and nonsensical phrases to help students memorize the periodic table. One notable example: Please send little Charlie McKie a zebra if the horse can't munch sweet green plants.

Chemistry Songbag
The one thing that's missing from most chemistry labs is music -- chemistry music -- and this collection of songs provides a solution. Now researchers and students can raise their voices in rousing choruses of A Mole Is a Unit and the Redox Blues.

Dihydrogen Monoxide Warning
If you've never seen this exceedingly clever spoof that describes -- with deadpan seriousness -- the destructive potential of one of the world's most ubiquitous substances, you're in for a treat.

Metric Conversion Chart
For metrics-haters who just don't get why the rest of the world can't use the American system of measurement, here's a new interpretation of the conversion scale, showing that 2000 mockingbirds equal 2 kilomockingbirds.

Mole Day
On October 23rd every year, chemists observe a holiday to honor the creator of the mole concept, Amadeo Avagadro. Pick up some suggestions for your own commemorative by reading about the festivities at this Huntsville, Ala., school.

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New Chemical Element Discovered
This report on the discovery of the heaviest element known to science -- administratium -- explains its composition, moron exchange, atomic number, reaction time, half-life and toxicity.

Organic Chemistry & Humor
Quotations, jokes, rules of the lab and a guide to scientific literature help explain the life of the organic chemist. Find the probability law that applies to glass breakage and the relationship between ruined equipment and experience.

Physics Limericks
The American Physical Society received 190 submissions for its first physics limericks contest in March 1997. All are posted at the site, with a special page for the finalists and winners. Submit your best via the online form.

Post-Advanced Placement Chemistry Examination
Adhering to the two-hour time limit, test your skill on this final exam. The chemistry section directs you to discover new properties for every element on the periodic table and then formulate a new theory of science.

Practical Jokes
You'll never again think chemistry is boring after reading this hilarious collection of practical jokes, pranks and lab mishaps. Stained skin, exploding black goo, impressive pyrotechnics -- why aren't all chemistry classes like this?

Scruff's View of Life
Critical information for budding chemists planning household experiments includes the observations that Aquanet hairspray is the most flammable product known to science and that hydrochloric acid may look like water but doesn't taste like it.

Sizzling Organic Chemistry Dramas

World's First Nuclear Laundry
Troubled by those radiation stains and contamination in your clothes? This press release from the World's Nuclear News Agency -- NucNet -- describes a special laundering process developed in the Netherlands.

Date Modified:
Tuesday, July 03, 2001

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